Who Am I?

My name is Stephanie. Currently 29 and the pictures above are of me in 2006... I was skinny and this wasn’t even my skinniest size. The sad truth is, I was anorexic - I lived off a handful of veggies, possibly a pack of cheese crackers, soda and coffee each day. In 11th grade, was down to 107lbs (though in the collage, I’m a high school senior and around 112lbs). Even so, I didn't feel it was good enough.
It all started when a boy I had a crush on called me fat. It was then that I decided to make it my goal to lose 50lbs. I did - in a month. It seems like a huge accomplishment, but I was killing myself over nothing.  I was hungry all the time, sluggish and miserable. The only thing that made me feel slightly alive was walking or listening to music. At this size, though, I thought I was still fat! I wanted to be smaller, but my parents caught on to what I was doing to my body and had stepped in. They were monitoring me as much as they were able and holding the threat of sending me off to get help if I continued to lose weight. In the above pictures, I was dating my high school sweetheart who is now my husband of nine yearsm, also made sure I was eating enough. No one cared what I was eating, as long as it was something. 

This next picture was taken on my wedding day. I have no idea how much I weighed. i remember eating salads everyday for months - with loads of bacon bits, cheese whiz, ranch dressing and pickles while drinking a ton of water. It didn't help me at all lose the weight I wanted to before the big day. I look like I'm pregnant here and I was probably pretty bloated feeling. My husband and I didn't have time to eat anything before heading off to our honeymoon destination so we stopped at Taco Bell on the way there. My diet was so poor and you could see it on the outside. I could feel it on the inside as well, though I had no idea what it was actually doing to me.

The picture to the left was a few years after I had been married. We were still eating rather poorly - both in the financial and health related way. We didn't have great jobs and so we bought as little as possible. I was eating maybe once or twice a day and when I did eat, it was chips or only meat and always cheese. Move back a little to our college days, my husband wanted me to eat all the time since he was afraid I'd start starving again so we ate Taco Bell everyday - sometimes multiple times per day! I was gaining weight - so fast - yet no one said anything to my face about it. I was now on the opposite end of the eating disorder. I had become a binge eater and was putting on the pounds like you wouldn’t believe. I developed a disease called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) which caused a lot of grief and suffering on my marriage. We tried for two years to get pregnant before we went to see specialists. My OBGYN told me to lose weight and put me on three different types of medication without really explaining it to me. After several months of feeling sick from the metformin and birth control, I decided to stop taking any of it. It was dangerous for me to come off the medication cold turkey and I do not recommend this to anyone.
I wish my OBGYN had known about the role food plays in PCOS and she may not know to this day. I spent a lot of time blaming her for my condition getting worse, but what I've learned in recent months is that most doctors are not taught about nutrition in medical school. I more blame myself now for not doing my own research.
PCOS causes a lot of different issues in women, but my main concern at this point was infertility and all I ever wanted to be was a mother. The reality that it may never happen sent me into a spiral of deep depression, self-hatred, denial, overeating then starving myself, turmoil in my marriage and eventually a nasty separation from my husband. The last time I remember weighing myself I was over 190lbs. If you don't know me, I’m less than 5ft tall, so you can imagine how that much weight looks on a short person, and needless to say, I didn’t take many body pictures at this time.

These last two pictures are the most current of me. Here, I’m down to 150lbs and while the weight is starting to come off, it’s not as quick as before - which is great - it’s in a healthy and sustainable way now. I made the choice to change my diet to a whole food, plant based vegan lifestyle. I am  hopeful that in doing this I will be allowing plants to heal my disease. 

This is where the blog title comes into play "Plants Vs. PCOS". I want to see how going vegan is going to help me overcome this disease so that maybe other women might be able to overcome this as well.
As of today, I’m on day 47 and down to 148lbs in my vegan transition. I haven’t felt this good in so long. I can finally sleep well, get the rest I need, think straight and concentrate better. I'm no longer in pain on a daily basis and I have a ton of energy.

I am excited to start this blog and hope it'll inspire others! Thank you for reading.